I could count on the stars the many times I said “I love you”
And I can tell you, even when unrequited
It always felt good to let someone know they’re loved
I also can count on all the moons I’ve seen all my 26years
The number of times I’d pray my heart to be quiet when all it wanted to do was weep
Because it hurt like crazy
I had a choice, to leave
But my place of solitude wasn’t taking me with baggage
I felt lonely but my mind was too chaotic to be anywhere, silent
So I did what I knew best, to ease the pain that was eating away my flesh
Cut myself, because it hurt less
I had something to think about besides you
Cut myself until I bled enough to die …….I didn’t die…I never died.
And then I looked around me, a thousand beautiful faces
No, a million
Why I chose to die for you still baffles me
We were happy, you served your chapter I wasn’t ready for your depature
But over the years made me stronger
And I’m glad I learned, that I cannot put my trust in every mouth that utters
“I love you”

Ratie Selelo


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